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Hardware
Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 13024
  
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So fair is she!
So fair her face
So fair her pulsing figure
Not so fair
The maniacal stare
Of a husband who's much bigger.
(Spike Milligan)
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 4th Oct 2018 5:11 pm |
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DrLex
Member Since: 15 Jul 2005
Location: Ciderspace [Oi be in Zummerset]
Posts: 4863
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With apologies to Philip Larkin:
They ‘phone you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They just can’t get the hang of their new mobile. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
Member of Club Med Sucks
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| 4th Oct 2018 9:11 pm |
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galwaygreen
Member Since: 30 Oct 2011
Location: plymouth
Posts: 6525
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a poet and dosnt know it
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| 4th Oct 2018 10:42 pm |
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Pelyma
Member Since: 06 Jan 2005
Location: Patching, Sussex
Posts: 15496
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Hardware17 wrote:So fair is she!
So fair her face
So fair her pulsing figure
Not so fair
The maniacal stare
Of a husband who's much bigger.
(Spike Milligan)
He was a genius. DS3 TDV6 HSE - Silver with Alpaca (old one) Gone
DS3 TDV6 HSE- Silver with Alpaca (new one) Gone
D4 HSE Lux - Montalcino Red Gone
Porsche Cayenne V8 Diesel S
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| 5th Oct 2018 6:25 am |
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Hardware
Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 13024
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I read all his books when I was younger … and can't read that (or any) poem of his without imagining him reading it !
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| 5th Oct 2018 6:30 am |
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M3DPO
Member Since: 22 Sep 2010
Location: Notts.
Posts: 8233
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Doggie in the street
Pappa car
Sausage meat It can when others can't,
It will when others won't,
It goes where others don't.
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| 5th Oct 2018 7:57 am |
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M3DPO
Member Since: 22 Sep 2010
Location: Notts.
Posts: 8233
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I said to this bird “are you game?”
She said “yes”
So I shot her!  It can when others can't,
It will when others won't,
It goes where others don't.
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| 5th Oct 2018 8:02 am |
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NJSS
Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10810
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Quote:
I said to this bird “are you game?”
She said “yes”
So I shot her!
That really appeals to me - Brilliant  Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.
2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
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| 5th Oct 2018 9:04 am |
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NJSS
Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10810
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| "Granny" - by Spike Milligan |
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Through every nook and every cranny
The wind blew in on poor old Granny
Around her knees, into each ear
(And up nose as well, I fear)
All through the night the wind grew worse
It nearly made the vicar curse
The top had fallen off the steeple
Just missing him (and other people)
It blew on man, it blew on beast
It blew on nun, it blew on priest
It blew the wig off Auntie Fanny-
But most of all, it blew on Granny! Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.
2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
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| 5th Oct 2018 9:11 am |
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Pelyma
Member Since: 06 Jan 2005
Location: Patching, Sussex
Posts: 15496
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'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"
Said A to B, "I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!"
"I disagree," said D to B,
"I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be
An uncompleted O."
C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed,
You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat
And Cow and Cool and Cape."
"He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!"
Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!"
"You're dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don't do it please I pray."
"Out of my way," LL said to K.
"I'll make poor I look ILL."
To stop this stunt J stood in front,
And presto! ILL was JILL.
"U know," said V, "that W
Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he."
X and Y yawned sleepily,
"Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes."
They did, then "Z-z-z." DS3 TDV6 HSE - Silver with Alpaca (old one) Gone
DS3 TDV6 HSE- Silver with Alpaca (new one) Gone
D4 HSE Lux - Montalcino Red Gone
Porsche Cayenne V8 Diesel S
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| 5th Oct 2018 9:11 am |
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DrLex
Member Since: 15 Jul 2005
Location: Ciderspace [Oi be in Zummerset]
Posts: 4863
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Much to his dad and mum's dismay
Horace ate himself one day
He didn't stop to say his grace
He just sat down and ate his face
"We can't have this!" his dad declared
"If that lad's ate he should be shared"
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!"
But all too late for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh foolish child!" the father mourned
"You could have deep-fried those with prawns,
Some parsely and some tartar sauce..."
But H was on his second course;
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue
"To think I raised himn from the cot
And now he's gone to scoff the lot!"
His mother cried what shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept her son was seen
To eat his head his heart his spleen
And there he lay, a boy no more
Just a stomach on the floor...
None the less since it was his
They ate it - and that's what haggis is! Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
Member of Club Med Sucks
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| 5th Oct 2018 9:20 am |
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john watson
Member Since: 10 Nov 2011
Location: lanark
Posts: 971
  
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Doctor O’Dell fell down the well
And broke her collar bone
Now doctors should attend the sick
And leave the well alone.
Another.
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jill came down with half a crown
She wasn’t up for water! Once you have defeated the idiots any job is half done. Pity there are so many idiots to defeat.
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| 5th Oct 2018 11:22 am |
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NJSS
Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10810
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Beneath this slab
John Brown is stowed.
He watched the ads
And not the road.
....................................................
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.
NJSS Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.
2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
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| 7th Oct 2018 10:42 am |
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HWN
Member Since: 23 Feb 2018
Location: Near Llanybydder (near Puff!)
Posts: 4590
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Here lies John Smith,
Alas, he is no more.
For what he thought was H20,
Was H2SO4
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| 8th Oct 2018 10:00 am |
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Grianaig
Member Since: 08 Jul 2014
Location: Tyne and Wear
Posts: 1286
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If I remember it correctly from Ogden Nash
Little Billy wearing one of his new sashes
Fell in the fire and was turned to ashes
Though the room is getting chilly
I haven’t the heart to poke poor Billy 2014 MY Discovery XS Indus Silver. Sadly gone. Second last LR of forty eight years continuous ownership.
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| 8th Oct 2018 10:46 am |
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