Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who all three died as a result of CV-19.
As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly."
St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in a beaten up old VW."
Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife twice. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Freelander."
St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in the latest Range Rover."
A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam’s Range Rover and there he is, sitting, head in hands, crying.
"What’s wrong, Sam?" they asked.
"You got the Range Rover! You are set up forever! So why are you so depressed?"
Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "My wife has died, and I have just seen her pass by on a skate board."Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.
2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
28th Mar 2020 9:17 am
Paul J.
Member Since: 09 Dec 2005
Location: Leafy Cheshire
Posts: 7221
I heard Boris had beans-on-toast for tea yesterday and jam-on-toast for breakfast this morning; lunch will be Marmite™-on-toast. He doesn't particularly like toast, its just the only thing they can slide under his door.
2015 Volvo V40
2014 D4 HSE
2006 RRS - C'est mort. Fin... ...It's alive! Oh no, it's not - scrapped.
2019 Suzuki Kingquad 400
2017 RamRod Taskmaster 1150
1977 John Deere 2130
2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
28th Mar 2020 1:06 pm
Pelyma
Member Since: 06 Jan 2005
Location: Patching, Sussex
Posts: 15496
DS3 TDV6 HSE - Silver with Alpaca (old one) Gone
DS3 TDV6 HSE- Silver with Alpaca (new one) Gone
D4 HSE Lux - Montalcino Red Gone
Porsche Cayenne V8 Diesel S
28th Mar 2020 1:21 pm
Grianaig
Member Since: 08 Jul 2014
Location: Tyne and Wear
Posts: 1286
2014 MY Discovery XS Indus Silver. Sadly gone. Second last LR of forty eight years continuous ownership.
2011 D4 XS - OBD port protection, RLD spare wheel protector, All LED interiors lights, Timed Climate enabled, iiD tool paired.
2011 D4 Landmark - Stolen from same dealer before I paid for it
2011 D4 GS - Stolen whilst at dealer ... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
1996 300Tdi - Eaten by tin worms
28th Mar 2020 3:19 pm
Parky63
Member Since: 10 Apr 2017
Location: Hampshire
Posts: 401
If go past your doorstep
You could fall and break your neck
or maybe just a fractured leg
so really, stay indoorsI know it's not considered "kind" to say no these days, but no. Just no, ok? And if it's not ok, still no.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
this f 
... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
