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Mike40
Member Since: 30 Nov 2008
Location: Newport South Wales
Posts: 796
  
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After liver and bacon on Monday and curry yesterday, my gaseous waste products are particularly rancid today.... 
So later when I have to go to Tesco and stand in the queue to get in, I will drop a good fart and see who reacts. Dirty looks and wrinkled up noses and they are safe to be near, no reaction and I will stay well clear of.
Covid-19 has at least made smelly farts socially acceptable as a test for the virus.... 
Wife is deffo virus free today!!!  ------------------------------
"Ruby" 
Rimini Red 06MY TDV6 S
Xenons, Bright Pack, Climate Pack,
BAS Magic Box and Remap
ITG Air Filter
ERG's Blanked (Woody32)
Huge Permagrin
Suzuki GSX1400, Triumph Daytona 1200, Yamaha RD500LC, Norton 850 Commando, MV Agusta 1090 Brutale, Honda Hornet 900, Honda 600 Tansalp, Matchless 750, AJS 650CSR......plus very understanding wife!
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 1st Apr 2020 11:17 am |
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Hardware
Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 13024
 
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Good thinking that man.
.
Dean
====================================
2011 D4 XS - OBD port protection, RLD spare wheel protector, All LED interiors lights, Timed Climate enabled, iiD tool paired.
2011 D4 Landmark - Stolen from same dealer before I paid for it
2011 D4 GS - Stolen whilst at dealer  ... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
1996 300Tdi - Eaten by tin worms
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| 1st Apr 2020 11:21 am |
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RRSTDV8
Member Since: 07 Apr 2014
Location: Here
Posts: 13556
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  Visiting from rrsport.co.uk
2012 RRS SDV6
2008 RRS TDV8
"When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die! You don't know who's children are going to scream and burn. How many hearts will be broken. How many lives shattered. How much blood will spill, until everybody does what they were always going to have to do from the very beginning: SIT DOWN AND TALK!"
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| 1st Apr 2020 11:27 am |
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al cope
Member Since: 08 Nov 2005
Location: Oldbury, WM
Posts: 10355
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one joke seen elsewhere:
I used to cough to hide a fart, now I fart to hide a cough.
Al Volvo XC90 B5 Plus Dark
Gone - MY18 D5 HSE - Corris on 22's with Black Pack
Now gone - MY16 D4 SE Tech, Loire Blue, Almond Leather, Privacy, plus some other goodies.
Old - MY12 D4 SDV6 XS Auto - Ipanema Sand with Almond Leather - Plus other niceties, and D4.com sticker
Older - D3 TDV6 XS Auto - Lugano Teal with Almond Leather, 20" Stormers, Shiny Tailpipes, DVD/TV - and obligatory D3 sticker
Ancient - D3 TDV6 S - Tonga with Ebony, 20" Stormers, satnav & DVD
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| 1st Apr 2020 2:51 pm |
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DigitalJunior
Member Since: 22 Nov 2008
Location: Cumbria
Posts: 4401
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We were just discussing that because we can't smell properly yet, dropping a fart in the office might not smell to us but might actually stink - who knows but we can't smell it.
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| 1st Apr 2020 3:07 pm |
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stew 46
Member Since: 01 Dec 2011
Location: cornwall
Posts: 10148
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I had a colostomy bag for 12 months ish around 11 years ago and yes it farts but you have no control and don’t even know when it’s coming , would be talking to a customer and woooooops then I would have to tell them but you get used to it , it’s when you let the gas out  not good -------------------------------------------------
if you cant hold on dont let go , it ill come in handy for something even if you never use it.
D3 SE 05,
110 s wagon 300 tdi SOLD
h top transit
crew cab transit
transit connect
ausa dumper, muck truck .
peljob 2.5 digger
06 L 200 crew cab
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| 1st Apr 2020 3:13 pm |
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Iguana
Member Since: 14 Oct 2013
Location: 'Sunny' Zomerset
Posts: 9424
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I had one for 6 months Stew, the noises were out of this world especially in the middle of meetings with snr managers
You could suppress a fart though, by putting your finger onto the bag, then release it at an appropriate time to shock somebody
I remember als diving into a cold pool while on holiday, to find the bag floating away in the water, thankfully it was clean on Iggy/Ieuan
Current LR =
2015 RR Sport Autobiography
&
1992 Land Rover Defender Camper
- Gone but not forgotten:
MY10 D4 GS
MY05 Disco 3 'S'
MY14 FL2 HSE manual in Blue
MY15 Disco 4 HSE Lux in Santorini Black
MY08 Disco 3 SE manual in Buck Blue
1960 Series 2 88" (No idea why I sold it!)
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| 1st Apr 2020 3:34 pm |
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Grianaig
Member Since: 08 Jul 2014
Location: Tyne and Wear
Posts: 1286
 
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Iguana wrote:I had one for 6 months Stew, the noises were out of this world especially in the middle of meetings with snr managers
You could suppress a fart though, by putting your finger onto the bag, then release it at an appropriate time to shock somebody
I remember als diving into a cold pool while on holiday, to find the bag floating away in the water, thankfully it was clean on
I have had my colostomy for 35 years. Early days were difficult but now with experience no one knows other than close friends. Modern filters on pouches and blanking them off when necessary makes management easy. I learned to swim for the first time as a test of doing something new and never had a bag come off. Getting a stoma saved my life. It has never caused problems in a busy life not even when lecturing or performing in front of audiences in an amateur drama club and an orchestra and several concert bands. Holidays no problem. 2014 MY Discovery XS Indus Silver. Sadly gone. Second last LR of forty eight years continuous ownership.
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| 1st Apr 2020 4:32 pm |
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