Member Since: 01 Dec 2011
Location: cornwall
Posts: 10148
Well my Jake ( 28 ) is now actively looking for his own place to rent he said he can’t spend another winter in the tin tent i obviously said I hope you will still come and zoo site the 4 dogs , 6 cats , 3 chickens , 17 gold fish and a about 18000 bees when we go away on holidays and camping etc , he said as long as he still has axes to the beer fridge and steak freezer
So he’s going from paying NOTHING every month living in the tin tent in my garden
To paying around £650 for a tiny flat in wadebridge plus all bills and I bet he’s going ask his boss for a pay rise -------------------------------------------------
if you cant hold on dont let go , it ill come in handy for something even if you never use it.
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7th Aug 2019 8:22 am
leeds
Member Since: 30 Aug 2010
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 4314
RRSTDV8 wrote:
The Dundonian wrote:
Eldest surpassed himself yesterday. Told me his car needed petrol. My hint to give him money for fuel despite him having a part time job.
Anyway, bunged him £40, he went off, filled it up and came back with the receipt for £40.23 and asked me for the 23p. I was stunned, just gave it to him in coppers.
He paid £45 in cash - so he had a fiver more than you gave him - and then demanded the 23p so that his petrol was free for him. And you gave him the 23p.
Don't ever use the insult "snowflake" about others - you're breeding your own.
I think some parents need to learn the expression foxtrot oscar!
If he can not afford to put petrol in the car what else can he not afford? New brake pads, new tyres etc. How about insurance and mot?
Why not lend him the money until next payday? What is next on the list? I am going clubbing with my mates, cough, cough hand out?
Brendan
Yes parents should help their children. Help them to being independent and financially responsible not treating them like spoil brats who expect handouts left right and centre.
7th Aug 2019 9:06 am
Pelyma
Member Since: 06 Jan 2005
Location: Patching, Sussex
Posts: 15496
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7th Aug 2019 9:30 am
Someone-Gone
Member Since: 21 Dec 2015
Location: Gone
Posts: 5117
I purchased his car as a BD pressi, I insure it, I pay for servicing, tyres, repairs, he’s never paid for petrol in his life. I did think the 23p was going a bit OTT.
He’s already stung us for £2k this year for a two week jaunt to Croatia. He’s yet to describe his experiences or show us a photo.
Year before, his Aunt took him to the Far East, business class on a bespoke holiday to Cambodia etc.
In his defence, he’s a student and does voluntary work as well.
7th Aug 2019 9:34 am
al cope
Member Since: 08 Nov 2005
Location: Oldbury, WM
Posts: 10355
^^ as much as you might love him, thats even more taking the pee
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7th Aug 2019 9:52 am
Someone-Gone
Member Since: 21 Dec 2015
Location: Gone
Posts: 5117
And he’s refuse to exit his bed this morning and help me with taking rubbish to the tip. Says I should get the 10 year old to help me.
He tends to forget I’ve got to pay his Halls bill of £5k the end of the month!
7th Aug 2019 9:54 am
ronp
Member Since: 29 Nov 2006
Location: North Yorkshire
Posts: 15264
Just read the full thread.
Conclusion: If you've got a mirror in the house, (if it were me) I'd have a long hard look in it.
That's my opinion only of course. ...... always on the road less travelled 🚧
7th Aug 2019 10:50 am
DG Site Moderator
Member Since: 12 Dec 2005
Location: The Gaff
Posts: 50978
My lad get's his backside out of bed every day for work not only because he is diligent and wants to pay his own way in life.... but also because he knows I would be kicking it if he didn't 21 year LR veteran > D2 GS 2003 > D3 S 2006 > D3 HSE 2009 > D4 HSE 2013 > D4 HSE 2015 > D5 HSE 2018 > DS HSE R-Dynamic P300e 2021
7th Aug 2019 11:02 am
Charliecloud
Member Since: 31 Jul 2014
Location: Tonbridge
Posts: 980
The Dundonian wrote:
And he’s refuse to exit his bed this morning and help me with taking rubbish to the tip. Says I should get the 10 year old to help me.
He tends to forget I’ve got to pay his Halls bill of £5k the end of the month!
I think that deep down you know he is extracting the urine, now you have other forum dads confirming it. I understand how hard it can be to break the pattern that has been established, however you will get a nicer long term relationship out of it.
It used to be called 'Tough Love' - not sure that the pc brigade would allow such a term today.
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7th Aug 2019 11:38 am
stew 46
Member Since: 01 Dec 2011
Location: cornwall
Posts: 10148
National service is a great idea if they can’t find a job after so long it should be compulsory
We all help our kids because with things as that’s part of being a parent, but I don’t throw money at them , I bought the tin tent for Jake to live in as I couldn’t see him homeless , he’d lost his mum 12 months before and needed a bit of scooping up , he didn’t won’t to move in with me and my new partner Julia so tin tent was the best option he even said the other day when you sell the tin tent he will pay any money lost on it so he has learnt the value of peoples possessions so no invoice for him -------------------------------------------------
if you cant hold on dont let go , it ill come in handy for something even if you never use it.
D3 SE 05,
110 s wagon 300 tdi SOLD
h top transit
crew cab transit
transit connect
ausa dumper, muck truck .
peljob 2.5 digger
06 L 200 crew cab
7th Aug 2019 12:23 pm
DSL Keeper of the wheelie bin
Member Since: 11 May 2006
Location: Off again! :-)
Posts: 73092
al cope wrote:
^^ as much as you might love him, thats even more taking the pee
Al
Totally taking the weewee, when I got my first car I paid for everything. Me thinks that would be a good start to teaching him the realities in life. If he can’t afford to run a car on his own dollar he can join the masses on public transport.
7th Aug 2019 1:07 pm
Rescue01
Member Since: 14 Jan 2008
Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 2519
I think the Dundonion is just taking the pi@s or breeding future benefit hand outs. My daughter is 19 at uni and pays all her car bills and holidays with her own work funded cash. We help with away from home uni accommodation Its not the height of the fall but the sudden stop at the bottom that hurts!!
7th Aug 2019 3:35 pm
defector
Member Since: 23 Feb 2009
Location: Greater Manchester
Posts: 1471
The Dundonian wrote:
And he’s refuse to exit his bed this morning and help me with taking rubbish to the tip. Says I should get the 10 year old to help me.
He tends to forget I’ve got to pay his Halls bill of £5k the end of the month!
Many many many years ago my eldest brother (similar age to yours at the time) refused our dad similarly as he asked him to help him with a house he was single handedly renovating.
The next morning, same scenario.....except for the comment from our dad " ok son, i'll be back about 6, make sure you leave the house keys on the table when i get back".
He was out on his ear for 2 months slumming it wherever he could and earning pennies wherever he could (with mum sending him food secretly), but came back with his tail between his legs and sorry for his actions.
It sent a powerful message to him and the rest of us kids
We all look back and laugh about it now, but even he admits it changed his attitude for the better.
8th Aug 2019 1:43 am
Gorilla63
Member Since: 18 May 2019
Location: Bewdley
Posts: 446
This talk about not being friends to your kids is not something I believe in. Parents should be friends to their children. I think it helps with understanding them, and being able to be closer to them. Being able to ask your folks for a bit of cash when you need it should also not be something to be ashamed of.
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he said he can’t spend another winter in the tin tent 
i obviously said I hope you will still come and zoo site the 4 dogs , 6 cats , 3 chickens , 17 gold fish and a about 18000 bees 
when we go away on holidays and camping etc , he said as long as he still has axes to the beer fridge and steak freezer 
I purchased his car as a BD pressi, I insure it, I pay for servicing, tyres, repairs, he’s never paid for petrol in his life. I did think the 23p was going a bit OTT.
