NJSS
Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10808
  
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| Satnav – A new poem by Pam Ayres |
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I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car.
A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav, i've had it all my life.
It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive.
"It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five".
It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green.
It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear.
And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a device.
For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught.
So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed.
It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then, I could turn the b*gger off. Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.
2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
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 18th Jul 2020 4:38 pm |
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Pelyma
Member Since: 06 Jan 2005
Location: Patching, Sussex
Posts: 15496
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I have one of those and a junior one in training too. But my car has a special feature to turn them off, it’s called sports plus mode and a heavy right foot it works oh so well. You get a loud squawk and then it shuts down into silence  DS3 TDV6 HSE - Silver with Alpaca (old one) Gone
DS3 TDV6 HSE- Silver with Alpaca (new one) Gone
D4 HSE Lux - Montalcino Red Gone
Porsche Cayenne V8 Diesel S
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| 18th Jul 2020 5:17 pm |
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Stevepd
Member Since: 06 Mar 2018
Location: Wiltshire
Posts: 392
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That’s just great and she hasn’t lost her touch. My solution is to let the ear hair grow so it blocks out the white noise  visiting from www.rrsport.co.uk
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| 19th Jul 2020 7:06 am |
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Hardware
Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 13022
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thing is ... I'd have put money on her being dead !! however, a quick Google and she's clearly not 
still touring with dates showing for March through May next year (with a Coronavirus proviso, naturally ) .
Dean
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2011 D4 XS - OBD port protection, RLD spare wheel protector, All LED interiors lights, Timed Climate enabled, iiD tool paired.
2011 D4 Landmark - Stolen from same dealer before I paid for it
2011 D4 GS - Stolen whilst at dealer  ... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
1996 300Tdi - Eaten by tin worms
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| 19th Jul 2020 7:48 am |
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James W
Member Since: 27 Mar 2008
Location: Riyadh, KSA
Posts: 3079
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My now-departed nanna loved Pam Ayres, her poems really tickled her. I read a couple out at her funeral that really summed up her attitude to life. Reading this brought back some nice memories.  D4 XS, gone, much loved, never forgotten
2018 FFRR SDV8 Autobiography - Gone to someone with less sense and more time to enjoy it
2016 Toyota Hilux Invincible - Liberating experience
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| 19th Jul 2020 7:29 pm |
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