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dantheman
Member Since: 12 Mar 2010
Location: Essex
Posts: 1739
  
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Trump has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" Trump said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.
The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!" Today is the oldest you've been and the youngest you'll ever be again.
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 1st Apr 2018 8:01 am |
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kajtzu
Member Since: 10 Aug 2017
Location: Helsinki
Posts: 6760
 
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| 1st Apr 2018 8:47 am |
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Red Merle
Member Since: 30 Aug 2014
Location: Liskeard
Posts: 7441
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Ha ha!!
If only... 2011 - 2015: 3 x FL2
2015 - 2017: 2 x D4
2017 to date: FFRR SDV8
2023 to date: 2 x FL2 as “second” cars 🙄
2021 to date: Hinckley built ‘14 Triumph Trophy 1200
2022 to date: Hinckley built ‘14 Triumph Trophy 1200 & sidecar!
(One of only two known to exist in the world!)
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| 1st Apr 2018 9:06 am |
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SimSamSeven
Member Since: 08 Dec 2012
Location: Surrey
Posts: 160
 
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| 1st Apr 2018 9:16 am |
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RRSTDV8
Member Since: 07 Apr 2014
Location: Here
Posts: 13567
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Bit harsh on Bill Clinton though... Visiting from rrsport.co.uk
2012 RRS SDV6
2008 RRS TDV8
"When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die! You don't know who's children are going to scream and burn. How many hearts will be broken. How many lives shattered. How much blood will spill, until everybody does what they were always going to have to do from the very beginning: SIT DOWN AND TALK!"
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| 1st Apr 2018 9:20 am |
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Timothy1
Member Since: 06 Dec 2016
Location: Tanzania
Posts: 42
 
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Euro Parts Arusha
Tanzania
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| 1st Apr 2018 2:18 pm |
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conman69
Member Since: 11 Aug 2012
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 431
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Discovery3 TDV6 GS
Disco3.co.uk front orange +white tailgate stickers
Belts, pulleys, oil pump replaced, double tow-bar electrics
Land Rover rubber mats throughout, tinted windows, wind deflectors, smoked side repeaters, retro fitted Garmin, smooth leather steering wheel, cruise control + radio switches, 19" HSE wheels, Bearmech side-tubes, BAS IFBH module, roofbars.
LML Star Deluxe
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| 1st Apr 2018 2:40 pm |
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GLYNNE
Member Since: 06 Oct 2006
Location: KENT
Posts: 4695
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| 1st Apr 2018 9:25 pm |
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Sloss
Member Since: 18 Aug 2013
Location: Aberdeenish
Posts: 1691
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I met with Pope Francis today. He's a really great pope; great, great pope. You know he's the leader of the Catholic Church; big church. I couldn't believe it when he told me how many Catholics there are Way more than I thought. They have churches all over the world; some are very, very close (so close) to my hotels and golf courses.
"He took me into the Sistine Chapel. Beautiful ceiling. I don't think too many people even know about this place.
The paintings are great, I'm telling you. The Pope (great guy, by the way, knows more about the Bible than almost anybody, we got along great, I think he really likes me) told me the whole thing was painted by this young Italian; I think his name is Michael Angelo. At least that's what Francis (we're great friends) called him, I think. Trust me, we're going to hear more about him. He's really artistic, and everybody tells me I have the greatest eye for the best art. I told Frank I'd like to buy some of Mike's art. I asked him if Mike's done anything on velvet. He'll check (great guy). I'll hang his stuff at Mar-a-Lago or Trump Tower.
He needs more exposure. He's too much with the churches.
He could paint my presidential portrait on the Capitol Dome.
Or maybe a mural on my big, beautiful border wall, but just on our side.
"Unbelievable. The fake media is at it again. I just saw something on TV that Michael died 450 years ago. Sad. I've already got some people looking into this and you won't believe what they're finding." Stew,
2010 D4 gone but I really loved it
Went back to Merc - C350 AMG
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| 9th Aug 2018 11:41 am |
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