jkp
Member Since: 16 Sep 2005
Location: Living among Bawbags
Posts: 4528
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| Not work friendly or PC or ?? who cares |
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Some jokes to brighten up your day. Shamelessly lifted from an email I received.
The latest club craze is to fill a woman's vagina with vodka and then suck
it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of minge
drinking
A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos!
Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters!
85% of Liverpudlian males say they enjoy sex in the shower........ The
other 15% haven't been to prison yet
I'm really p*ssed off! Someone's just crashed into my car in one of them
new Skodas. There's f.......g jam and sponge everywhere!
B*st*rds! Just been thrown out & barred from the local swimming baths
because I had my Speedo trunks on! What I didn't know was the 'S' had come
off the logo!!
Just bought a racehorse called 'My Face', It may not be any good but I
can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'come on .. .My
face
2 Irish couples decide to swap partners. Afterwards Paddy said to Murphy
that's the best sex I've ever had, I wonder how the girls got on ?
If mothers Celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day, lovers
celebrate valentines day, do  celebrate palm sunday?
Paddy weighs 20st, so his doctor puts him on a diet. 'I want you to eat
regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks, you
should loose 5lbs.' When Paddy returned, he shocked the doctor by having
lost 4st. 'That?s amazing the doc said'...Paddy nodded...'I'll tell you be
Jesus, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day.' 'What from hunger said
the doc?'...'No from the f........g skipping!'
Just popped home, caught the plumber with his dick in the dog! Can't
believe the police won't do anything! They said the b*st*rd was corgi
registered
Are you available to come to a charity pancake competition on Shrove
Tuesday? The organisers have the pans and the ingredients they just need a
tosser.
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 10th Oct 2008 5:42 pm |
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wiggs
Member Since: 03 Sep 2006
Location: Manchester
Posts: 14372
  
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Quality  G4 Gone ...but not forgotten
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| 10th Oct 2008 5:50 pm |
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SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
  
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not very pc (does't bother me though!) but it is very funny 
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| 10th Oct 2008 5:52 pm |
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Ent
Member Since: 12 Oct 2007
Location: In the cack
Posts: 6488
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Club Exped trailer
Club Timed Climate
Club Flappy paddle steering wheel
Club 300bhp
Club Prospeed test pilot/lab rat
Club National Luna Stella conditioner
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| 10th Oct 2008 5:55 pm |
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jkp
Member Since: 16 Sep 2005
Location: Living among Bawbags
Posts: 4528
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SJR wrote:
not very pc (does't bother me though!) but it is very funny
I know it's not and I apologise if it upsets anyone. All a bit of fun, but some do take life far tooooo serious.
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| 10th Oct 2008 5:57 pm |
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SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
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jkp
i wouldn't worry too much, anyone who reads any of the posts in this section ought to know what to expect.
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| 10th Oct 2008 6:07 pm |
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darrind
Member Since: 04 Jul 2008
Location: In A World of My Own!
Posts: 2889
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Keep em coming....
Must stop buying shiny toys....
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| 10th Oct 2008 6:50 pm |
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Wex
Member Since: 16 Apr 2007
Location: Knackeragua
Posts: 5173
 
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| 10th Oct 2008 6:59 pm |
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heine
Member Since: 07 Feb 2007
Location: Midrand
Posts: 4054
 
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| 10th Oct 2008 7:52 pm |
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flinty99
Member Since: 17 Mar 2008
Location: Northumberland
Posts: 2558
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Excellent
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| 10th Oct 2008 8:14 pm |
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Russell
Member Since: 23 Aug 2007
Location: Kent
Posts: 10564
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JKP very good any more out there MY17 D5 1st Edition Namib Orange
MY15 D4 HSE Kaikoura Stone
MY12 D4 HSE Nara Bronze Sold and gone
MY11 D4 HSE Stornaway Grey Sold and gone
D3 S spec Silver Sold and gone
Tow bar, full length roof bars, side steps, tow bar storage unit, surround camers.
D4 camera club
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| 10th Oct 2008 8:37 pm |
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Popelka
Member Since: 31 May 2008
Location: Praha (Prague)
Posts: 2430
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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'
Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer
office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Harry: '9.'
Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Harry: '36.'
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'
Ms.. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'
Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'
Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: 'Pockets.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'
Harry: 'Pants.'
Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'
Harry: 'Coconut.'
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'
Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'
Harry: 'Shake hands.'
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'
Harry: 'Firetruck.'
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......' Experience is a difficult teacher, because she gives the test first and then the lesson afterwards!!!!
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| 10th Oct 2008 10:31 pm |
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AVE
D3 Decade
Member Since: 12 Nov 2006
Location: First house on the left
Posts: 3099
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(so did I) As you slide down the banister of life
may no splinters point your way
Disco XXV
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY16
Discovery Sport HSE Lux MY17
Evoque HSE Dynamic MY16 (Gone)
RRS2 Autobiography Dynamic MY14 (Lovely car but preferred the Disco!)
Disco 3 Tdv6 HSE MY05 (owned for 11 years and now gone)
Range Rover Sport HSE MY11 (Gone)
Freelander2 SE (Gone but the most reliable car we've ever owned)
Disco 2 V8 (Gone)
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| 10th Oct 2008 10:44 pm |
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SJR
Member Since: 09 Aug 2006
Location: East Manchester
Posts: 4030
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| 10th Oct 2008 10:48 pm |
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