dantheman
Member Since: 12 Mar 2010
Location: Essex
Posts: 1739
  
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A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to toe.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...
Something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact!
But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's £1,000 an inch."
The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might
be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
The man agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"
"I have," says the man.
"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're having granite worktops" Today is the oldest you've been and the youngest you'll ever be again.
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 10th Feb 2019 7:00 pm |
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RRSTDV8
Member Since: 07 Apr 2014
Location: Here
Posts: 13558
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Not sure I like the way SWMBO laughed at it though!  Visiting from rrsport.co.uk
2012 RRS SDV6
2008 RRS TDV8
"When you fire that first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die! You don't know who's children are going to scream and burn. How many hearts will be broken. How many lives shattered. How much blood will spill, until everybody does what they were always going to have to do from the very beginning: SIT DOWN AND TALK!"
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| 10th Feb 2019 7:25 pm |
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Oswiperus
D3 Decade
Member Since: 02 Apr 2010
Location: Chelmsford, Essex
Posts: 1600
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Stu
2016 D4 Landmark current
2022 Defender D300 SE Gone 
D4 2014 XS Commercial - Gone
D4 2016 hse lux montalcino red - Gone
D3 2005 se java black - current
D3 2005 base manual - gone
D2 1999 TD5 E white - current
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| 10th Feb 2019 8:06 pm |
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Ted Newman
Member Since: 09 Oct 2010
Location: SE London
Posts: 840
 
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so funny I can't stop coughing LR Discovery 4 XS pulling an Airstream 532 Caravan also own (since new) a 1996 MGF
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| 11th Feb 2019 10:30 am |
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