I started this as a thread of 10 CV jokes, but it's been suggested that there could be more!
10. I know a great joke about the Corona virus, but you probably won't get it.
9. A man walks into a bar. "I'll have a Corona, hold the virus."
8. I sneezed in the bank today – it was the most attention I've received in ten years.
7. With all this talk of Corona virus the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
6. I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant what killed the Corona virus.
"Ammonia cleaner,” she replied.
“Oh, sorry,” I replied, "I thought you worked here ..."
5. Someone with a cold: "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
Someone with Corona virus: "I feel terrible, I think I'll go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white-water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
4. Don't worry, the Corona virus pandemic won't last long – it was made in China.
3. Definition of irony : when the Year of The Rat starts with a plague.
2. Ok, so if the Corona virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
1. Before Corona virus I used to cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.
NJSSAm I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.
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23rd Mar 2020 10:18 am
nearlee
Member Since: 15 Dec 2012
Location: where the sheep are scared
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Just remember:-
Amateurs built the Ark
Professionals built the titanic
23rd Mar 2020 1:11 pm
Dave T
Member Since: 03 Jul 2009
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Lesson suggestions for home schooling
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23rd Mar 2020 1:11 pm
Batfink
Member Since: 31 May 2017
Location: Isle of Sheppey
Posts: 1522
I have spent the last two weeks covered in fibre glass roll and expanding foam then heard I was supposed to be self isolating.2006 TdV6 HSE.
23rd Mar 2020 3:20 pm
robsmith
Member Since: 02 Sep 2007
Location: Staffordshire
Posts: 2401
Quote:
2. Ok, so if the Corona virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
Actually it's about a soft drinkRob Smith
Silver rools OK
23rd Mar 2020 4:46 pm
gstuart
Member Since: 21 Oct 2016
Location: kent
Posts: 14136
As seen on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.
When do the Coronavirus symptoms begin to show up?
Right off the bat.
23rd Mar 2020 4:56 pm
Batfink
Member Since: 31 May 2017
Location: Isle of Sheppey
Posts: 1522
I said to my missus earlier, "Here, put this nurses outfit on."
‘Ooh fancy some fun do you?’
“No” I said, “We need a loaf of bread!”2006 TdV6 HSE.
23rd Mar 2020 4:58 pm
D&G
Member Since: 29 Jun 2017
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23rd Mar 2020 5:27 pm
DG Site Moderator
Member Since: 12 Dec 2005
Location: The Gaff
Posts: 50978
Apparently a bag has been confirmed to have the virus. Although not showing any symptoms, it is suspected it was a carrier.
23rd Mar 2020 7:13 pm
jamez79
Member Since: 03 Sep 2018
Location: Staffordshire
Posts: 585
gstuart wrote:
As seen on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.
When do the Coronavirus symptoms begin to show up?
Right off the bat.
I'd heard he'd got the chills and they were multiplying... I'll get my coat.
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