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Transport Limericks
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10492

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4
Transport Limericks

Use the wipers. It’s starting to rain.
You’re drifting, so stay in your lane.
Slow down! Yellow light!
It’s a left — not a right!
Backseat drivers — a car owner’s bane!


“I’m locked out of my sports car,” said Lee
to a cop while he stood helplessly.
“Man, your ragtop is DOWN,”
said the cop with a frown.
“Just reach in there and pull out your key!”


It appears that my car needs repairs;
From the noise, you would swear that some bears
Are marauding inside,
Which ain’t good for the ride…
And impairs surreptitious affairs.


A guy with his foot in a cast
Was driving his car way too fast.
His wheel struck a hole.
He lost all control,
And the time for a cast was surpassed


Though cars with no driver sound scary
And sharing their roads makes me wary,
Software doesn’t use gels,
Comb its tresses, dial cells,
Or smoke cigs, so the concept’s less hairy.
 Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.

2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #209276816th Oct 2019 11:42 am
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HWN
 


Member Since: 23 Feb 2018
Location: Near Llanybydder (near Puff!)
Posts: 4384

Wales 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 4

There was a firm called Land Rover,
It's best days were probably over.
The D5 was given a crappy tailgate,
And probably sealed the firm's fate.
So car-making in Brum was soon over.
 
2015 Volvo V40
2014 D4 HSE
2006 RRS - C'est mort. Fin...  ...It's alive!  Oh no, it's not - scrapped.
2019 Suzuki Kingquad 400
2017 RamRod Taskmaster 1150
1977 John Deere 2130
 
 
Post #209292916th Oct 2019 8:22 pm
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10492

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4

Hugh Thumbs Up Thumbs Up
 Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.

2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #209293116th Oct 2019 8:25 pm
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Aerialmark
 


Member Since: 21 Jun 2015
Location: Burnley (Where the M65 is cobbled)
Posts: 5191

England 2005 Discovery 3 TDV6 HSE Auto Zambezi SilverDiscovery 3

In these modern days
Isn't it a shame
All new Land rovers
Look the bleeding same

As if thats not bad enough
They now use cheaper stuff
So now the Land Rover brand
Ain,t really all that grand

I,ll get my coat Whistle
 The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the best of everything they have. 
 
Post #209293916th Oct 2019 8:36 pm
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HWN
 


Member Since: 23 Feb 2018
Location: Near Llanybydder (near Puff!)
Posts: 4384

Wales 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 4

Every forum needs a Limerick thread (the ruder the better).

There was a policeman from Duncton...
 
2015 Volvo V40
2014 D4 HSE
2006 RRS - C'est mort. Fin...  ...It's alive!  Oh no, it's not - scrapped.
2019 Suzuki Kingquad 400
2017 RamRod Taskmaster 1150
1977 John Deere 2130
 
 
Post #209294116th Oct 2019 8:41 pm
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12709

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

The issue, it seems, at J L R
Is they designed a reasonable car
And they thought that looks nice
Can we copy it … twice
Or 3 times. Or 4
We can do even more …
And now they all look the Censored same
  
Post #209294416th Oct 2019 8:44 pm
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HWN
 


Member Since: 23 Feb 2018
Location: Near Llanybydder (near Puff!)
Posts: 4384

Wales 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 4

There once was an L322,
Bought by a bloke named Hugh.
When a new Censored clutch
Cost far too much,
He knew it to be a pile of poo.
 
2015 Volvo V40
2014 D4 HSE
2006 RRS - C'est mort. Fin...  ...It's alive!  Oh no, it's not - scrapped.
2019 Suzuki Kingquad 400
2017 RamRod Taskmaster 1150
1977 John Deere 2130
 
 
Post #209294916th Oct 2019 8:50 pm
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12709

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

thought you'd have signed that "E-type J Thribb" ????
  
Post #209295116th Oct 2019 8:52 pm
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HWN
 


Member Since: 23 Feb 2018
Location: Near Llanybydder (near Puff!)
Posts: 4384

Wales 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 4

Aged 17 and a half litres capacity?

(I'm too worried about Judge Cocklecarrot to be able to concentrate).
 
2015 Volvo V40
2014 D4 HSE
2006 RRS - C'est mort. Fin...  ...It's alive!  Oh no, it's not - scrapped.
2019 Suzuki Kingquad 400
2017 RamRod Taskmaster 1150
1977 John Deere 2130
 
 
Post #209295316th Oct 2019 8:55 pm
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