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Corona virus jokes
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Someone-Gone
 


Member Since: 21 Dec 2015
Location: Gone
Posts: 5117

United Kingdom 

SWMBO says Colorectal are looking for people. Rolling with laughter
  
Post #213196926th Mar 2020 8:03 pm
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PROFSR G
 


Member Since: 06 Mar 2017
Location: Lost
Posts: 4657

Ukraine 2009 Discovery 3 TDV6 Commercial XS Auto Stornoway GreyDiscovery 3

Laughing
What about prostate test examiner's ?
 yµ (idµ - eAµ) ψ=mψ

 
 
Post #213197126th Mar 2020 8:09 pm
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rrhool
 


Member Since: 28 Aug 2014
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 4400

United Kingdom 2007 Discovery 3 TDV6 SE Manual Zermatt SilverDiscovery 3

Norfolk People panic buying lightbulbs Whistle

https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/norfol...ightbulbs/
 Richard


D3 SE 2007. Triumph 2.5Pi 1973. Ferguson TEA20 1948.



Discovery 2 4.0 ES 2001- Gone
Discovery 1 300Tdi ES '95 - Gone
Range Rover Classic '79 - Gone 
 
Post #213197326th Mar 2020 8:13 pm
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Pelyma
  


Member Since: 06 Jan 2005
Location: Patching, Sussex
Posts: 15496

England 

Sea Raider wrote:


Just read that out at the dinner table - now I’m in trouble!
 DS3 TDV6 HSE - Silver with Alpaca (old one) Gone
DS3 TDV6 HSE- Silver with Alpaca (new one) Gone
D4 HSE Lux - Montalcino Red Gone
Porsche Cayenne V8 Diesel S 
 
Post #213197426th Mar 2020 8:15 pm
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HWN
 


Member Since: 23 Feb 2018
Location: Near Llanybydder (near Puff!)
Posts: 4385

Wales 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 4

^^^ Almost as bad: testicles dropped one after another into the neck of an empty large Marmite jar are impossible to extricate without a hammer. This used to be the initiation test for the pot-holing club of a certain university - a club nor university with which I sought any association, I should add...

"Don't try this at home".
 
2015 Volvo V40
2014 D4 HSE
2006 RRS - C'est mort. Fin...  ...It's alive!  Oh no, it's not - scrapped.
2019 Suzuki Kingquad 400
2017 RamRod Taskmaster 1150
1977 John Deere 2130
 
 
Post #213198026th Mar 2020 8:28 pm
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Someone-Gone
 


Member Since: 21 Dec 2015
Location: Gone
Posts: 5117

United Kingdom 

Mr. Green
 

Last edited by Someone-Gone on 23rd Apr 2020 7:57 am. Edited 1 time in total 
Post #213198326th Mar 2020 8:37 pm
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10499

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4

 Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.

2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #213199026th Mar 2020 8:57 pm
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NJSS
 


Member Since: 06 May 2009
Location: Catherington, Hampshire.
Posts: 10499

United Kingdom 2016 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 Landmark LE Auto Waitomo GreyDiscovery 4

 Am I Gammon or Woke ? - I neither know nor care.

2016 Discovery 4 Landmark
2011 Mercedes Benz SL350 (R230)
1973 MG B GT V8 - 3.9L John Eales engine, 5 speed R380 gearbox, since 1975.
1959 MGA roadster - 1.9L Peter Burgess Engine - 5 speed gearbox
Past LRs - Multiple FFRs, Discos & a Series I - some petrol, some diesel,
none Electric or H2 fuel cell - yet.
There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who understand binary, and those who don’t. 
 
Post #213199426th Mar 2020 9:22 pm
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kajtzu
 


Member Since: 11 Aug 2017
Location: Helsinki
Posts: 6573

Finland 2005 Discovery 3 4.4 V8 HSE Auto Cairns BlueDiscovery 3

Click image to enlarge



Click image to enlarge



Click image to enlarge
  
Post #213200026th Mar 2020 9:32 pm
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Andyyav
 


Member Since: 22 May 2019
Location: Norfolk
Posts: 301

United Kingdom 2010 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 XS Auto Stornoway GreyDiscovery 4

I think wearing gloves at the pumps is a good idea

  
Post #213200226th Mar 2020 9:37 pm
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Hardware
 


Member Since: 28 Jun 2016
Location: Hiding under the M60
Posts: 12709

United Kingdom 2011 Discovery 4 3.0 SDV6 XS Auto Sumatra BlackDiscovery 4

I'm not going to cut'n'paste them all but some of these Suffolk Gazette jokes are very good. Do they really push one out every 30 minutes through the day ?

https://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/lockdo...pirits-up/
 .


Dean
====================================

2011 D4 XS - OBD port protection, RLD spare wheel protector, All LED interiors lights, Timed Climate enabled, iiD tool paired.
2011 D4 Landmark - Stolen from same dealer before I paid for it
2011 D4 GS - Stolen whilst at dealer Sad ... All LED interiors lights, DRLs, Spare Wheel protector.
1996 300Tdi - Eaten by tin worms 
 
Post #213206827th Mar 2020 9:13 am
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Sea Raider
 


Member Since: 01 Nov 2016
Location: None
Posts: 4450


First person to use a Dyson ventilator has started to pick up
  
Post #213209527th Mar 2020 10:17 am
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OvalAutos
 


Member Since: 28 Dec 2018
Location: Cradley Heath
Posts: 382

United Kingdom 

Overheard a husband & wife in the queue outside Tesco yesterday.

Hubby: "I can't thank Boris enough for this"
SWMBO: "Are you joking? We're stood here for 10 minutes so you can buy some more beer to stockpile and my mother is told to stay home alone for the next 3 months"
Hubby: Exactly, peace at last.
 Joe  
Post #213212727th Mar 2020 12:24 pm
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HWN
 


Member Since: 23 Feb 2018
Location: Near Llanybydder (near Puff!)
Posts: 4385

Wales 2014 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Zermatt SilverDiscovery 4

Sea Raider wrote:
First person to use a Dyson ventilator has started to pick up


Groan.
 
2015 Volvo V40
2014 D4 HSE
2006 RRS - C'est mort. Fin...  ...It's alive!  Oh no, it's not - scrapped.
2019 Suzuki Kingquad 400
2017 RamRod Taskmaster 1150
1977 John Deere 2130
 
 
Post #213213227th Mar 2020 12:32 pm
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Scott #55
 


Member Since: 15 Apr 2015
Location: Glasgow
Posts: 1665

United Kingdom 2010 Discovery 4 3.0 TDV6 HSE Auto Nara BronzeDiscovery 4

Sea Raider wrote:
First person to use a Dyson ventilator has started to pick up


Trust me - this is even less funny when it needs explained to someone. Like SWMBO. Easily the smartest perso I know and with the degrees to prove it, yet she needs vacuum cleaner jokes explained to her.
 2014 - D4 2010 HSE Nara Bronze
2012 - FL2 2009 GS Stornoway Grey
2001 - VW Passat Estate Inky Blue
1999 - Ford Mondeo Light Blue
1998 - Rover 25 Red 
 
Post #213213427th Mar 2020 12:47 pm
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